Current mood:	optimistic
Current music:	Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine

I hate being sick...but it's all good
It has now been a full 7 days that I've been sick with this evil bronchial phlegmy, stuffy head, snotty, sore throat retrovirus. Usually when I get sick it is only for about a day. That day will really suck, but that's it. Captain Morgan usually wipes it out. Apparently, increasing the alcohol level in my bloodstream is not effective against this monster. It seems that all of northern California has some form of this virus at this moment...or at least many of the people I’ve been talking to about it. muahahahhaaha...I’ve imported the virus to Socal.

My face and neck have finally recovered from the attacks at the 916 party about a week ago. I should have taken pics…so gruesome. At least it was by 2 sweet and good looking gals...more on that another time.

So, last night I had a breakthrough in my weird Swiss-cheese brain depression while I was talking to Michael. He really broke it down about the ex and how to get through some of the issues I have. It wasn't that he said anything that I hadn't already thought about, but the way he presented it in a more big-picture sort of way seemed to make it all the more clear. It also didn't hurt to talk to her tonight and have her remind me of so many of the reasons why I didn't want to be with her anymore. oooh yeah she did.

Michael also put a lot of things into perspective about the whole job thing. He takes a much more positive approach about it than others have. He encouraged me when I had ideas about career paths or options and showed me how simple it was to get there. And he didn't try to make me feel stupid for having the idea, or not having tried it already, or not thinking about it on my own...like others have on many occasions. He accomplished more in one hour than it seems everyone else had done up to now combined. I don't understand how these people think that guilting me or putting me down or nagging me could somehow make me do something. Repeated attempts over a long period of time without success would have indicated that this method wasn't working. All this did was reinforce what has been causing the main part of my problem in the first place; my fucked up self esteem and depression. In the end, the long-term result is that it has only embittered me.

I just found out that a lady I know died this week. She was a very sweet lady who was always nice to me. She's the person who gave me that windbreaker that I wear all the time. She died pretty suddenly of cancer. I am so angry about how this went down. She knew something was wrong and didn't get it checked out because she was afraid of doctors. She thought that it wouldn't be bad if she just ignored it. So what should have been a fairly simple procedure to remove a tumor killed her in a matter of months. Her whole family is devasted. So note to everyone...take it from me, don't fuck with your health.

So, on a lighter note, one of my friends couldn't go to Coachella and called little old me out of the blue. No strings...here's $300 worth of tickets. I was so excited that she thought of me...and that I could now go to a show I’ve been dying to go to, but I couldn't afford. I was going to take josh, but let’s just say he seemed less than interested. So I think I’m going to take one of my buddies that is as brokeass as I am and would appreciate the awesomeness of the bands and the event that is Coachella. The fucking Pixies! I went to the first 3 Coachellas, but I didn’t make it last year. Now if I could only get over this plague.